It’s true. I’m a daddy’s girl. Always have been. Always will be.
My daddy’s name is Frank Mitchell. And he graduated to heaven on Christmas Day this year. His time on earth ended suddenly; only a week earlier he was laughing and singing Christmas carols with all of us who adored him, his beautiful clear baritone voice warming me from behind as I played the piano. I dearly loved to hear him sing.
The world was blessed with 92 years of this incredible man’s life. I couldn’t be more grateful to Papa God.
So today I’d like to share with you this tribute to Daddy; it first appeared in my book Mom NEEDS Chocolate, then was reprinted in shorter form in one of my other Too Blessed to be Stressed books.
It’s a love note for my dear, gentle Daddy, a true Southern gentleman; a lifelong student of the Bible. The one whose arms were always opened to me when I needed to be comforted; my role model for the image I have of Papa God – unconditional love, unconditional acceptance, unconditional forgiveness.
Your little girl’s heart is shattered, Daddy. But I know you’re singing again. I will carry you with me forever.
Ode to Daddy : Godly Parenting at its Best
It’s time again for Daddy’s haircut, a father-daughter ritual that dates back to my teen years when I was the primary hairdresser in my little world. It wasn’t a task I enjoyed then, only an inconvenience to be tolerated.
Now, as Daddy sits serenely on a stool beneath the spreading oaks in the front yard, I see my aging father in a different light. His posture, once tall and straight, is now hunched. The thick black hair gracing the memories of my youth is now thinning and mottled with gray.
As I drape the towel around his shoulders, my mind returns to the daddy of my childhood.
He was the protective giant I could always run to in times of doubt or fear. Before his name stopped echoing through the darkened house after another of my terrifying nightmares, Daddy was there. Never scolding, he’d pat my back as he folded his large frame into my little bed, soothing me back to sleep by his comforting presence.
Before daybreak, I’d follow him into the bathroom as he shaved and readied himself for work. He’d carefully spread a thick bath towel on the cold bathroom floor so I could curl up around his feet and listen to endless tales of knights and ladies, unwise home-building pigs and a cinder girl who found happiness ever after.
The memories melt away and I smile as Daddy waits patiently for me to begin his haircut.
Patience and dignity were always his way – very different from his fiery wife and two temperamental daughters. He was a calming balance, speaking little but saying much through his steadfast love for us and his Lord. He took us to church each time the doors opened and led our family in Bible reading and prayer every night.
Daddy taught me how to feel God’s presence on long walks through the woods on hot summer afternoons, or in the stillness of crisp fall nights. Words weren’t necessary. I’d slip my hand in his and we’d worship our Creator together.
I gather a tuft of Daddy’s hair between my fingers and begin to cut, the rich texture of the strands brings a warm feeling of intimacy with this man, a relationship like no other in my life … a daughter’s love for her papa. Even through those turbulent adolescent years when I viewed my parents through the haze of rebellion, I knew beyond a doubt that he loved me and would always stand behind me.
We continue Daddy’s haircut in companionable silence, with an occasional comment about the remarkable quantity of hair gone underground and sprigging from his ears, nose, and everywhere but his scalp. We both grin.
Daddy’s wry sense of humor is a trait I thankfully inherited. He managed to see humor in many awkward situations, making life’s testy moments not only bearable but also sometimes downright hilarious.
Like the time I was too sick for school, so Daddy took me to work with him. He was a hospital laboratory technician, and as a curious eight-year-old, I love to watch vials of blood spinning in the centrifuge or peer through the microscope at “squigglers” on glass slides.
Even more fun was peeking through the holes in the large metal container stored in the lab refrigerator. It held several dozen toads used for medical tests and I liked to poke my finger through the holes and watch them hop around.
While Daddy was out delivering a lab report, I started wondering what it would feel like to actually hold one of those squishy amphibians. I carefully slid the metal tray onto the floor. As I lifted the heavy lid, every last toad leapt in unison out of their prison and liberated themselves down the hallways and throughout the hospital.
While the other scrambling hospital personnel shouted, grumbled, or glared at me in sheer exasperation, Daddy quietly shook his head and turned away with a smile tugging at his lips. I knew that I’d committed a terrible sin, but I also knew that I would be forgiven and loved no less by the only one who really counted.
Just like my heavenly Father forgives and loves me today.
Leaning close to trim Daddy’s incorrigible cowlick, my eyes fill with tears as my heart is filled with love for this gentle man who lived out his conviction that God and his family were above all else in life. Future family generations may not realize the origins of their deep roots of faith, but I know. He was the one planting seeds of faith in the fertile soil of our spirits, quietly showing us how it’s done.
I shake out the towel and gather my haircutting tools. Daddy softly groans as he rises, his arthritic joints protesting mercilessly. I tenderly smile as I slip my hand into his for the journey back home.
*If you’re a family friend and would like to show your respects to John Francis Mitchell Jr (his daddy was “Big Frank” and Daddy was “Little Frank”), there will be two services, one in north Fla and the other in central Fla. The funeral will be this Sunday, Dec 30, 2 pm at Jones-Galligher Funeral Home in Starke FL, and a Memorial service will be later in January at his current church, First Baptist of Dover (FL) – details will be announced later.
My deepest sympathy to you and your family in the loss of your father. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
What a beautiful memory and tribute. You are lucky to have had your dad for such a long time.
Oh, I am so very very sorry , Debora. I’d said a few prayers for you and your sweet daddy when you let us know he was in the hospital. It’s you who I look to to hear the right words of comfort and now here I am. It’s my turn. I am at a loss as to how to bring you comfort during this difficult time. I can say this, that Papa God is here and very close. He’s watching over you and holding you tightly. He will calm your pain and hurt and soon there will be joy once again. I am praying for you and your family right now and in the days to come.
Your daddy was a very kind man. I always admired the love he showed to your mom and they great grands. I will miss seeing him on Friday’s at Meals on Wheels.
That is the man I remember also. He was always happy to see me and was always very sweet. My favorite was when he would sing to me everytime I came over to see Debbie. He would sing, you guessed it, “Amy”. I wont be able to attend the funeral but my love and prayers are with you all.
Amy
My dear Debora,
I am so very sorry to hear about the loss of your sweet precious daddy. Like you, I am also a “daddy’s girl.” I am the middle of 3 daughters and not only do I look the most like him, but I also act like him too.
You meet all sorts of wonderful women from all the different places you visit, so I doubt you’ll remember me. But I met you at Dalton’s Christian Bookstore in Franklin, NC. I was the winner of the drawing “Too Blessed to be Stressed for Moms”, and oh – how that book has greatly helped me!! (I had the curly blonde-brown 4-year-old son running around the store who kept eating your chocolate!!)
Please know I am praying for you and your family during this difficult time. I’m looking forward to meeting the man who raised such a wonderful sweet woman and who has blessed me through her stories….
Much love,
Amy McCord
Debbie, while reading your sweet remembrance of your precious dad, I had lots of tears. He was so very dear and special to everyone who knew him. You and Cindy were blessed beyond measure to have him as your dad. Until you are re-united in heaven, you have a lifetime of precious memories to hold in your heart. I will continue to hold you and your family up in prayer. I am sure Adele is heart broken. Give her a big hug for David and me.
Debbie,
What a Wonderful Gift of a such an amazing Daddy! He was such a giant of a Godly man and such a gentle soul! What a legacy of love he leaves behind in you and your family! Thanks for the beautiful testimony of your Daddy! Our prayers are with you all as you walk through these difficult days! May God wrap His love all around your hurting hearts!
What a beautiful memorial to your father….. and your Father. How excited you’ll be when you see both of them together one day! Prayers for your comfort during this sad time, and prayers for great joy in the many wonderful memories that he left you.
Wiping tears away here as I read your beautiful tribute. I agree with the rest here in saying what an amazing man and gift from God he was…and will forever be. I reach for words to comfort. You who are gifted with this beautiful art. I can only speak from my own experience in the loss of such a big piece of my own heart…..and that is to say healing does come! One day the sharp edges are smoothed. He is actually not gone but closer to you now than you can imagine! What’s most beautiful is….. the moment you realize that his passing has only made your own promise of Heaven that much sweeter! Prayers continue for you and your family. <3 U GF!!
What a beautiful tribute. Thoughts and prayers are with you and your family honey. ?
Dear Debora,
I am so sorry for your loss! Love the tribute to your Father. I could visualize every word. I had the blessing of caring for my loving Father-in-law until he was 93 and my Dad is 88. Blessed both are Godly men. Thank you for sharing how you were strengthened and taught to love Papa God by the blessing of a wonderful earthly father. May your memories bring you comfort and peace. I will be praying for you and your family!
I am so deeply sorry. I missed seeing this until now. Prayers for you as you adjust to not seeing your Dad here in this life. So wonderful that you know that your separation is temporary.
I’m sorry it has taken me so long to discover this news, Deb, and I loved reading this post and your memories again. Indeed, you were very blessed to have such a beautiful relationship and role model. I’m thankful you had 92 years with him and thankful to know you will see him again one day.
My dear sweet Deb, only our Lord could give you such a loving heart for your father and in turn love you more than you will ever know on this earth. Please continue to walk closely with Papa God and share His message with us which leaves either a smile or tears on our faces.
I’m so sorry for your loss, but it is heavens gain in which you too one day will celebrate. Hang in there knowing He is wrapping His loving, comforting arms around you. Prayers are sent for you and your family as you travel this sad road. love, Bette
My dear sweet Deb, only our Lord could give you such a loving heart for your father and in turn love you more than you will ever know on this earth. Please continue to walk closely with Papa God and share His message with us which leaves either a smile or tears on our faces.
I’m so sorry for your loss, but it is heavens gain in which you too one day will celebrate. Hang in there knowing He is wrapping His loving, comforting arms around you. Prayers are sent for you and your family as you travel this sad road.
My heart goes out to you during this time of separation from your previous Dad.
I thank my friend Cheryl Johnston for posting this lovely rememberable of your Papa Dad. I too have similar memories of cutting my Daddy’s hair over the years. So as another daughter blessed with those special intimate times, I pray they are singing together in Heaven with the one who created every hair we we’re blessed to style! Bless you…