How is it even possible to gain 5 pounds in 2 short weeks? And I’m not talking about pounds sterling.
Well, I did it. And you can too. All you have to do is shove every new taste sensation that’s not battened down into your gaping baby-bird mouth every other minute of your European vacation.
Here are some lip-smacking examples:
Scones and clotted cream: Scones are the older, posh cousins of dense, moist American muffins. Best consumed elegantly with a pinkie finger aloft. And clotted cream, although it sounds like the chunks that pour out of my milk carton when I forget to sniff it first, is a lot like rich, thick Cool Whip. Yes, please.
Ice Cream: Of course we’ve all had ice cream our whole lives, but I gotta tell ya, British ice cream is AMAZING. It’s creamier than I’d ever imagined possible. Apparently the layer first to rise to the top of raw cow’s milk becomes cream. When that cream sits and a second layer rises to the top, it becomes clotted cream (see above). Freeze that and you’ve got the best ice cream you’ve ever wrapped your tongue around. Yummmm.
Pasties: fried meat pies. Whoa doggies. And doggies are probably the only kind of meat not available in these luvly (MUST use my British accent when discussing pasties) greasy, crispy, altogether yummy delicacies. Many come with leeks (envisioning a slimy worm-like thing that attaches itself to your leg in a swamp, I had to ask what a leek is – turns out it’s a tasty onion). For the iron of stomach, you can even get one stuffed with haggis (read on).
Haggis: Call me a liver-pated weakling but I just can’t go there. It might taste like chocolate truffles but I simply CANNOT put sheep guts encased in intestines in my mouth. No. Nope. Never. But a lot of people do and absolutely adore it.
Breakfast baked beans: Yep. You read that right. My flabbergasted digestive system considered them as breakfast BB’s. Every single morning in the UK, we were served baked beans, fried potatoes, and sautéed mushrooms. FOR BREAKFAST. I kept searching for the basket of Gas-X on the way out.
Tea and biscuits: Hear me now, those English may not know the proper way to eat a pizza (with your fingers, of course) but they surely do tea right. Yes, indeed. In every hotel room, there was a maah-va-lous electric teapot that I declare went from 0 to volcano eruption within two minutes. A large assortment of teabags were included, and even complimentary biscuits. Which of course weren’t biscuits at all (the kind we use to sop up pot likker), but much better … buttery, crumbly, shortbread cookies. I’d be happy to pour my breakfast gravy over those babies any time.
Sticky Tacky Toffee Pudding: Actually, I think I added “tacky” myself because it just screamed to go there; I enjoyed this glorious dessert everywhere we went. My introduction to this delightfully sticky pudding was at a rural dining facility in Kenn. I was just starting to chow down on this incredible stuff straight from the angels’ own plates when a large dog walked up to my table, sat back on his haunches, and proceeded to politely watch me shovel it in. Yup. A real dog. A scraggly one that looked a lot like Little Orphan Annie’s Sandy. Only this fellow’s name was Reggie and according to a sign on the wall, which I hadn’t noticed on the way in, he was apparently the official restaurant quality control officer .
Reggie appeared to be enjoying my enjoyment of his establishment’s food, and when I did everything but lick the bowl clean, and Reggie was assured that my expectations had been exceeded, he nodded his furry head (yes he did!), turned, and ambled away with purpose to another table.
No room for more, but dear BBFF (Best Blog Friend Forever), I would love to hear about your memorable food experiences abroad.
Meanwhile, be sure to scroll back to my last post about my new Fall Into Blessings Giveaway – I’d sure like for you to be a winner!
Big News! I just saw a sneak peek of my currently-in-the-process-of-being-renovated website, which will debut in a few weeks … it’s absolutely adorable!
Plus, not one but TWO new books will be releasing before Christmas. I’ll have lots great stuff to give away so keep your eyes peeled!